dreamy house.

find it here.

take heart.

There is a light
It burns brighter than the sun
He steals the night
And casts no shadow
There is hope
Should oceans rise and mountains fall
He never fails

So take heart
Let His love lead us through the night
Hold on to hope
And take courage again

In death by love
The fallen world was overcome
He wears the scars of our freedom
In His Name
All our fears are swept away
He never fails

All our troubles
And all our tears
God our hope
He has overcome

All our failure
And all our fear
God our love
He has overcome

All our heartache
And all our pain
God our healer
He has overcome

All our burdens
And all our shame
God our freedom
He has overcome

God our justice
God our grace
God our freedom
He has overcome

God our refuge
God our strength
God is with us
He has overcome

{take heart by hillsong united}

I like you, and I want you to like me.

"I don’t know where my heart learned to translate it’s sentiments into such false sophistication..."

maybe its a curse reserved especially for writers?

those of us who have words swarming in our heads night and day - wanting to be written but waiting for the moment of clarity when words turns into thoughts and those thoughts turn into a cohesive phrase or sentence to say that makes some sense and has some life application.

the curse is that we have too much to say, and so we simmer and fester on those words.

we twist them and wring them and spin them 'round in our heads and mouths until they look entirely different from what the original thought was.

and when they come out, they cease to communicate the sentiment properly.

I am an introvert. an introspective analyzer. I think {too much} before I speak.

I choose my phrasing carefully so as to not give away too much of myself. so my opinion does not appear too strong, my thoughts too "black and white", to maintain the image of mystery and understanding.

and I don't know where I learned this. it's always been part of me.

when I read this blog post by don miller and especially his quote at the top of this post - I felt kinship. the exchange he is writing about sounds exciting and refreshing.

*

read the post here: http://donmilleris.com/2011/04/08/the-heart-knows-the-truth/

*

to say exactly what we mean!

what freedom in honesty!

to let the floodgates open, and keep them open.

to say "I like you, and I want you to like me"

instead of "are you free for drinks, maybe we could hang out, if you have time, and are not busy, and have nothing better to do, and you like drinking, and you would like to consider drinking with me. or maybe even dinner. I mean, we have to eat, right? we could think about eating together. in the same proximity, and talk. as long as that's not too much of a commitment for you..."

Lord, please break wide open this mouth of mine that yearns to speak honest words, but is too scared of what the reaction may be.

patterns.

love this email I just got from west elm about their new line of patterned textiles!

which is your favorite?

I love the yellow stripes on the top row and the blue circles on the bottom row.

to love is to be vulnerable.

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

I believe that the most lawless and inordinate loves are less contrary to God’s will than a self-invited and self-protected lovelessness...

We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armor. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which they shall break, so be it."

{c.s. lewis - the four loves}

I wish I could sit for a bit with ol' clive staples, tell him my about my life and ask him to help me make sense of it all.

top 10 tuesday > I'm not who I was

maybe it's 30 creeping up on me {ahem, you all know by now my 30th birthday is coming up soon, right}. or maybe its these darn allergies that are bringing me down. or maybe it was the visit from an old friend who just simply knows me, for good and bad. or maybe its been a hard week at work... I don't know what it is, but I am having an identity crisis this week.

that's right, an identity crisis.

the thing is, I'm not who I was.

10 months ago, my life was so different. and while these changes, this new life, had been prayed for and cried over and sought after for so very long, its hard to let go of pieces of me. things that defined who I was and made me feel important. like, being a boss, traveling the world, living out of a suitcase, expensing things, being listened to in meetings, having a respected opinion about things.

see, all those are of the world. they are things that the world defines as success. they're things that people see and want to have.

and I miss having those things to define me sometimes. occasionally I get the urge to say "duh, do you not know who I am and what I have done!" it's so, so silly. but when your identity is threatened, the natural urge is to protect it.

I think a lot {probably too much} about who I am becoming now, and want it to be good, and better than before, and new. but it's hard work becoming a new person. old habits are hard to break. it's difficult to see yourself in a new light, and define your success by the right things. I'm working on it, and so, self-affirming posts like this are sometimes needed - to help me keep things in perspective and take time to revel in what God is doing in my life.

top 10 ways I am not who I was >

this is who I am now. of these things I can be certain.

1. I love living in nashville, and know this is exactly where God called me to be, and allows me to be.

2. I get great joy from serving other people, in big in small ways, through time, money, and gifts.

3. I love working at a place that brings people joy and teaches kids about jesus, how to be good, how to act well towards one another, and other biblical and moral values.

4. I am blessed to have friends who care for me, make me laugh, listen to my crazy talk, and simply want to hang out with me at all.

5. I am blessed to have family who are healthy and happy and care for me.

6. I am thankful to have money to spend. while not a lot, its enough to eat and pay my bills and enjoy social activities.

7. I am a beloved daughter of God. and even though I struggle with seeing and feeling his love, often. I trust it.

8. I decorate places pretty well, I think. I have an eye and a passion for it as a hobby.

9. Two things I can't do but have always wanted to: to be able to sing, and to cook well

10. I love: tacos, flea markets and antique shops, buying books I don't read, social media, french music, sunny patios, coffee, guitar being played for me, bluegrass, shopping, brunch, alone time, being in nature, how I feel after working out, traveling, globes, speaking spanish, babies, a good quote, the letter s, pedicures, recycling, indie films, going to museums, blogging, hiking, catching up with old friends, and so much more...

worth keeping.

this one is speaking to me lately...

say you’re tired

say you’re busy

you can lie to me

should come easy

for you have been doing it for a while

look away when I’m talking

please don’t say what you’re thinking

you have been thinking for a while

you have been thinking for a while

take your hands out of your pockets and hold me

turn your eyes 'round in your sockets so you can see

the way that I look at you

and I am just a ray of sun, you are daylight

I'm an early morning, you were goodnight

and a prayer before I go to sleep

when you could be straight ahead, you go sideways

when you're lying in your bed, it’s a long way

from the place that you wanted it to be

grab a hold of anything that's worth keeping

from your house of flames that you should be leaving

or stay and let it burn you down

let it burn you down

{worth keeping by the everybodyfields}